I Won't Shed a Tear
by Hoprabbit
Summary: My thoughts on Roy's mind during Episode 54. Improvised the words because I'm too lazy to go look them up... T for a cuss word.


Since I don't know the exact words to Episode 54 of Brotherhood or the corresponding Manga chapter (It's prolly in the upper 70s, mid 80s) I had to improvise a bit. I probably used stronger words, more feeling than was portrayed. But that episode made me bawl like no other; more tears were shed for this than when my favorite character of another series died, more than for another character of this series. I cried my eyes out. Why they can't just have a cup of tea or coffee at the local cafe, I don't know. Rather than tell each other their feelings, only a few slip out when people are threatening to die.  
Jesus.  
Anyway, a nice, short little ditty inspired by my thoughts on Roy's mind during Episode 54 of Brotherhood.

* * *

"I won't shed a single tear for you if you do this."  
"HE DESERVES TO DIE!"  
"He deserves to die. But you do not need to concern yourself with it! I do not intend to let him live, but you're not doing this for anything but your own hatred!"  
"Nasty, putrid, slimy little bastard..." His heel impressed the green worm into the ground and its eye welled with tears. "Don't kill me..." It cried. "I don't want to die..."  
"SIR! All these years...All this time in both of our lives, are you telling me that it was a waste? That you're going to throw it all away and do this?"  
Hysteria was rising in her voice, and he turned his broken, aching eyes to hers. They were clear; held the lights of his life. He had never needed her physical love; there was an understanding there. That there was nothing the other would not do; if only to keep them safe. That one would not go on without the opposite. She had devoted her life to his life's dream.  
He had devoted his life to seeing that she got there with him.

"I will shoot you, Colonel."  
"If you intend to shoot me, then do it now." His eyes had closed slightly, her voice was steadying him. He lifted his foot and picked the creature up, throwing it to the child who had scolded him as Hawkeye had. Edward clutched the green thing in his hand, keeping it still as it squirmed.  
"And then what, Lieutenant." He said more than asked, genuinely curious. "What will you do then, when I am dead?"  
"I will remove myself and these infernal alchemical secrets on my back from this world."  
His eyes widened further; they ached to burst from their sockets. This was more than he could handle. She would remove her own self from the world were he to die? What if he had died during Ishval; would she have turned her own guns upon herself? Had he been assassinated by someone jealous of his rank; would she be sure to come along?

'I will follow you to the ends of the earth.' Her clear, steady voice rung through his thoughts. Any time he entered dangerous territory, he posed the same question, and she gave the same answer.

But Hawkeye had never let him die. She had always been sure whatever was coming at him was swiftly taken care of...  
But now the only danger to Roy was himself. Which meant Roy had to be taken care of...Much as that contradicted everything the two stood for.  
"I can't have that!" He whipped his hand to the side, an agonizing scream bursting form his chest. His eyebrows lowered, and the corners of his dilated eyes stung with the threat of tears.  
"I can't... I can't lose you!" "What kind of situation is this? Scolded by a child, Reprimanded by an outcast..." He turned to her, wanting to reach and feel the contours of her face; express his feelings better. "And I've upset you again." He lifted a finger, but set it gently against his side. "I'm sorry..." He fell to his knees, taking her gun with him as he sunk. She followed suit, her body relaxing to a kneel in front of his own. The silence behind them was deafening; the child, the Homunculus and the outcast watched as the two were reduced to their weakest. Not a sound was made for a few brief seconds.  
A sense of relief rushed through him, and he could tell it had come from her own. Though he wanted to, though most others would have; he did not kiss her or tell he loved her.  
For this was understood, and the Lieutenant wasn't a fan of having to repeat herself.


End file.
